Abigail Costi
Resident Y/N in Training
The Y/N Theory
Step One: Defining Y/N
This is very much, I believe, the place to begin. We cannot become something that isn't definitive. In my opinion, y/n is a self-insert main character of a young adult story where something fantastic happens. Fantastic meaning extraordinary, and maybe even a little unbelievable. You can find the y/n trope everywhere in media (not just cringey fanfics from 2012 lol). Any book or movie or tv show where you can easily project yourself into the main character’s journey falls under this genre.
I also do not believe that y/n's are only found in fanfiction. However, celebrities do lay the groundwork for wonderful fantastic events. But so does a bad-boy moving next door or sitting next to a stranger on a long plane ride or even a special trip with your friends.
I do believe that y/n's are nearly exclusively found in young adult work. I think the nature of coming-of-age is intrinsic to the plot line of a y/n story. While coming-of-age is most often marketed in the young adult market, that does not mean there is an age range on who can become a y/n. People never stop growing, therefore it is always the perfect time for a coming-of-age moment, or what I’ll be referring to as our Fantastic Moment.
The final parameter that I grappled with for this definition is whether or not a y/n had to have a romantic adventure. Ultimately, I think this is not true. I think a y/n could experience a fantastic moment that has to do with family or friend or mentor. Maybe your fantastic moment that makes you a y/n could be a career choice or trip that changes life as you know it. This fantastic event can be anything, but it is the qualifying moment of a y/n and is the ultimate product this theory is attempting to produce.
But How Do We Ensure Our Fantastic Moment?
A good question. The short answer: we fake it 'til we make it.
In manifestation, the theory goes that you live in the energy of what you’d like to attract, and then the universe will bring that attraction towards you. So if one wants to become y/n, they need to live like they already are y/n.
Also, this is a horribly abridged explanation of manifestation. I am by no means an expert, but I’ve been practicing nearly a year and have found its teachings to work. If you want to learn more about the ins and outs of manifestation, I would recommend doing external research, there are some really cool YouTube channels about it (I really admire The Gem Goddess on YouTube. She has good meditations and explanations).
So, in essence, we need to live like y/n to attract our fantastic moment.
Step Two: Defining Yourself
Y/n, at it's crux, is you. It is your name. It is your story. Therefore, the person at the center of this is you.
Who are you?
Every y/n is different and unique, so everyone should have a different answer for Step Two. But, the core of a y/n is someone who knows their values, someone authentically themselves, someone who puts themselves out there for their passions, and someone who celebrates their quirks.
I know it’s 2021, and it’s apparently “cringey” to be quirky, but innately every single one of us has quirks—they’re what make us individuals. Maybe you quirk is that you’ve memorized every dance from Just Dance 2, or it’s that you love nothing more than sitting under a full moon, or it’s unapologetically adoring math. Embrace your quirks, the things that make you, you.
So for Step Two, do some soul searching. What are the characteristics that make up you? What are the things you care about? What are your strengths? What makes you happy? How are you living for yourself? When was the last time you had one of those moments where you suddenly realized that you were truly alive? And what were you doing to spark it?
How do you think you are perceived by others? And how do you want to be perceived by others? Is there a disconnect between the two? There should be, or else you’d never have a desire to grow. But how can we make active choices to live more aligned with the sort of person we want to be?
Step Three: Closing The Gap
Set some realistic goals. Dare yourself to live a little closer to ideal self every day. Eventually, you will align with your desires.
But it is important to remain realistic. No one is going to change their entire set of habits in one day. For example, I am incredibly messy. I cannot wake up one day and decide to be organized.
Well, perhaps you could, but you’d have to have a much stronger will power than I lmao. But, if I decide that at the end of each day I’m gonna try to put away the clothes I wear, slowly I can build a new habit. It’s like muscle memory.
Make the choice every day to be the y/n that aligns with your spirit and vibe. Choose to say yes to new opportunities, choose to have fun every day, choose to live.
Step Four: Choose To Live
You have to put yourself out there to attract your fantastic moment. Chances are, it isn’t going to find you in your bed.
What experiences do you want to have? Life is too short to put them off. Do you want to go to a museum? Do it. Do you want to meet new people? Do it. Life doesn’t stop just because of a pandemic or anything else. There are still experiences to be had. Live them.
For better or for worse, you are alive. Make something of it.
Even if today’s version of living is dancing around your living room to One Direction music, do it.
NOTE: Step Three and Step Four are not technically chronological. You do not need to become your truest self before you can live your life. Like I said, life doesn’t stop. You should be simultaneously living and growing. And, when you’re ready, the universe will pull fantastic moments to you.